Hello, friends, ladies, supporters, thank you for checking back on this Month’s newsletter. We are ¼ of the way into 2016 how is everyone feeling? Around this time, I like to check on how well I’m doing this year so far, have I achieved any goals? Am I actively working towards a goal? Do you remember in January’s newsletter the HOT TOPIC was about achieving goals? How is that going so far for everyone? It’s always good to check yourself and assess how you are doing….
Updates/What have we been up to?
• On Sunday 3rd April our founder Sherica Spence took part in a discussion on child sexual exploitation on BBC London radio with Dotun Adebayo. The panel included our partners Dilys Sillah from Who Will Hear My Cry, Janice Nix and Skye Alexandra House ambassador Arfa Butt
• Dare To Be Different Event taking place Sunday 10th April 2016 2pm-6pm at Pop Brixton.The theme will be around sexual exploitation and through this event we hope to create awareness to parents and young people.
For Tickets, Please Click on our EventBrite Page. Not to be Missed.
• Skye Alexandra House writer, Remi Curtis. Has been given the opportunity of a new job role to become a Psychological Well-being Practitioner.
• Skye Alexandra House have begun a new movement #AntiRunnersStopCSE Here at Skye Alexandra house we are passionate and dedicated about issues such as sexual exploitation. Read our Blog article to find out more & Join the movement. WE NEED YOU. http://skyealexandrah.wpengine.com/antirunnerstopcse/
This months hot topic is short and sweet on: Giving up/Perseverance
Giving up always seems like the easier option when life or things get difficult isn’t it? Many times in my life, I have wanted to and have given up on something because the outcome seemed too difficult.
Perseverance is a very admirable quality and something we all need to adopt. We need to change our mindset and become resilient to hard work and difficult times. If everything were easy, everyone would be doing it right?
In my final year of university, I wanted to give up. The workload was increasing and I was falling behind. The easiest option for myself was to quit. Catching up and putting in the extra work seemed too much of a difficult task. Luckily through motivation from my parents, friends and the church I continued on, and today I have a degree and on the way to an excellent Job.
So, to the young girl, young lady and young woman reading this today. Work on your resilience, work on your perseverance; get rid of your attitude of giving up.
A wise person once told me “you can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it”
Question of the Month
When faced with difficulties in life, What are some of the strategies you use to motivate yourself? Let us know in the comments below. – Sharing an experience/advice could help someone in your similar situation
In The News
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Message From The Founder
To work on the front line with vulnerable young women, you need to have a different kind of strength and peace within yourself and confidence in God’s word.
Currently, I work with young women who are (or have been) in care, those coming from a dysfunctional background, those who have been sexually abused, sexually exploited, those who have been self harming, those who have suffered from domestic violence, those who are mentally challenged, those who are so much a product of their environment that to them their life is just a way of living (and nothing wrong in it).
It takes months/years to work and deal with a young person who is so emotionally and mentally cultivated by their environment that at times you as a person will get rejected from them, they will take the mick, they will challenge, they will raise voice, shout/scream, cuss sometimes try to fight (praise God I have not experienced that one), threaten you but I am realizing this is all their defense mechanism this is how they cope. Years of abuse and rejection hardens the heart that you begin to expect that people will hurt you that you expect them not to hang around for long. But do you know when their hearts start to soften? When they see no matter how much they act up you are still there trying to help them, you are still there providing them with opportunities that you are consistent with them……..this shows them that you care.
Some of these young people are being raised by parents who could not buy a clue even if you gave them the answers right in their face.
Why? Because just like the child they have raised, they too are the product of their environment, the fact they too saw the world affected all their choices and decisions. It is a vicious cycle! Some parents break it and use their bad childhood to become parents but unfortunately for some they didn’t have support, they didn’t have friends to encourage them, they are so mentally and emotionally scarred by their own childhood that they don’t know how to be the parent their child needs they think I will be their friend instead, I won’t have no rules or boundaries. This is it. So the kids are being raised by what they see on tv or their friends hold more importance in their lives then their own parents.
Since working in social care I see a lot, I feel a lot every night I say a prayer for whatever family or young person I encounter that day. Cause I’m telling you life is not Love and Hip Hop, Life is not Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Life is not the Real Housewives. Life is when you step out side your front door, life is that kid you see in morleys who only has £1 to buy chicken and chips and is begging the man to let him off, Life is the kids in the streets you see fighting because to them it is the survival of the fittest. Life is the mother you see arguing with her kids. But many of us are doing this bystander effect we look and walk away because oh no I need not get involved it is not my life. But what if it came to your home, what if it became your life? Some of us are in positions to help these families, to mentor young people. If you don’t have a personal experience you can show them what life can be like for them if they are willing to change, some just need someone to believe in them enough until they start believing in themselves, some need opportunities, do you know the difference you would make in a family if you was able to provide a mum or dad with a job?
Some people I see talk about doing this work but don’t actually do anything they ain’t on the front line with these kids and their families, they ain’t at court with them, they ain’t down the police station standing with the parent or even being the appropriate adult for that kid, they don’t see the tears these mothers cry the anger of the dads when they want to knock a child out for harming their child. They don’t hear the kids saying they need money but don’t want to be dead.
No they are at the events talking about things, smiling taking photos, having interviews etc. But put them in a room with a young person and their facety mother and see how quick that family tears them apart. Because one thing these families and kids are skilled in is spotting a fake. They know real when they see it, they can see when some one is genuinely there to help them and not exploit their situation.
So today I leave you with this, be mindful to those around you and if you are able to help someone to do so even if it is the old lady living next door to you with her shopping.
Our make up as humans is so much more then our DNA everyone is the way they are because of some pain, insecurity in which they are still dealing with, The 50 year old woman comparing herself to an 20 year old because in her eyes she looks better them could still be dealing with issues of rejection and seeks others approval and validation. The young man who is so flashy with his name brand can deep down believe that that is the only way people is going to like him.
We all have stuff in which we are dealing with whether it be in secret or in the open. I am not saying that people are not going to annoy us cause we are all humans but if you are in that frame of mind you will see after they have got on your last nerves that something could be wrong. Talk, listen, reflect, grow and love.
Sherica Spence ( Founder of Skye Alexandra House)
Thank you for reading and your continued support with Skye Alexandra House, see you next month!
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