Hello readers, welcome back. Can’t believe we are already one month into the New Year, hasn’t it gone by so quickly? SkyeAlexandra House has been up to so much this month and we have a lot more to come soon.
Updates/What have we been up to?
• Inspiring Butterflies – No workshops till Easter Half Term, register for your place today! – [email protected]
• Young offending training – Some members of Skye Alexandra House took part in mosaic networking youth offending training on the 31st January at Belmarsh Prison. As we are looking to start working with young male and female youth offenders, focusing on helping them rehabilitate back into society, build confidence and achieve. The staff had a great time, & learned a lot about youth offending!
• Open Day – SkyeAlexandra House will be hosting an Open Day in March, a chance for you all to come and see our premises. Stay tuned for more info.
• International Women’s Day Event – Our director Sherica Spence, will be given a motivational speech to women & young people at Harrow Civic Centre on Tuesday 8th March, 10am-1pm. Come down & show support!
This month’s hot topic is about LOVE, as we approach February, with Valentine’s Day around the corner. I felt nothing more of an appropriate theme.
What is Love? Is the question I hear you ask, well Love is a feeling and emotion that you get when you have a connection & strong attachment with someone/something. I feel love is a concept that cannot be easily described. But when you feel it, you will know it. A friend once told me, Love is a feeling you will have forever. When you love something or someone, you will NEVER stop loving that thing or person. Do you agree? Love can be measured by our actions and thoughts towards a person, when you love someone you find you want the best for that person. Seeing that person happy also makes you feel happy. Doesn’t love sound so wonderful?
Love vs Lust? Sometimes we confuse love with lust. Lust is a strong sexual desire; it is purely a physical attraction. That is something a lot of us confuse, because someone may show infatuation and attraction towards us, also added with nice actions and words we feel that person loves us. Don’t confuse the two. If you have to question this, it probably isn’t love. I can definitely admit that the person I thought I was ‘in love’ with at 16 was definitely not love and merely just lust, and that revelation has only come through hindsight.
Story time – I spoke with a colleague who explained she did not want to fall in love again because she was afraid of being hurt. I can relate to this 100%, sometimes love does result in pain – when someone we love does not show the same back. When someone we love, shows actions that do not express love. For example when someone we love abuses, lies, cheats, exploits etc. But I asked her these questions: ‘When being in love how did you feel?’ She said Amazing. I asked: ‘So that Amazing feeling, isn’t it worth finding again?’ Those questions I asked really made her ponder. Love is a big risk, but when it is found is a wonderful thing!
Question of the Month
To those who stay up- to- date with the news, social issues, & celebrity news. You will have definitely seen a popular interview that has sparked a lot of controversy, regarding Stacey Dash.
Stacey dash is an African -American female Actress who made a comment on Fox News stating that, there should be no longer be events such as the ‘BET Awards’, and ‘Black History Month.’
Her reasons for this were because, she felt we should be moving towards integration & avoid segregation by separating blacks & white ethnic groups.
If you would like to watch the full interview click the link below – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4Mzq-Jtmk
Leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts on this issue?
In The News
• Teenage pregnancy rate continues to fall: http://www.londonspovertyprofile.org.uk/indicators/topics/health/underage-pregnancy/
• Lambeth Child Sex offender Jailed: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35325295
• New TV Advert to increase awareness of sexual exploitation through online social media: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-35428732
• London gangs force girls to think group sex is ‘normal’: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/gangs-force-girls-to-think-group-sex-is-normal-home-office-report-warns-a3155501.html
• Dramatic rise in Child Sex Exploitation, Barnardos urgent appeal for funds: http://www.slp.co.uk/article.cfm?id=115858
Q: I have had sex with the same person for a long time, now we are over the thought of sleeping with someone else scares me is this Normal? 23 year old female
A: Hi, this is very normal. Sometimes we fear things we do not know, you have been sleeping with the same person for a long time & this was something you were used to. You were most probably really comfortable with that partner, open with each – other and able to communicate your sexual needs effectively. My advice to you is to wait, take your time and wait till you are ready. Your next sexual partner should be someone you are completely confident and comfortable with – it would be a good idea to communicate these feelings to him! So you both can work out a way to make things easier for you.
Q: I’m always broke before the end of the month, how do I manage my money better in order for me to save and still have money left at the end of the month? 24 year old female
A: Hiya, managing money can be very difficult. Especially if you are not taught how too! It is a skill that we need to learn, just like learning to read or drive a car. In this situation the best advice I can give to you is to start budgeting. Budget how much and what you will need for the month! Also start prioritizing; Is saving more important to you than shopping? Is having enough money for lunch more important than having that new handbag? Be strict with yourself, and remember it will take time. No one becomes an expert in something overnight. For extra help check out my personal blog post on money managing – http://beingremi.com/2015/12/13/get-rich-or-die-tryin/
Q: I want to move up in the workplace but don’t feel its happening quick enough, I’m considering leaving, should I wait it out or take the plunge and apply for more advanced jobs in other businesses? 24 year old female
A: Hiya, a very tough one! One thing I can say about myself is that I can be very inpatient. If I want something I want it now! But in life sometimes we need to exercise patience to wait and allow the wonderful things that are coming our way to happen! Are you doing everything you can in your workplace to the best of your ability? Try and find ways to show managers/supervisors that you are committed and can perform at a higher level. Start going above and beyond consistently. If you are already doing all of that, maybe it is time to move on. Maybe your talents will be appreciated elsewhere. I’m a firm believer in taking risks
– Risk allows you to feel powerful and proactive, making things happen rather than waiting for them to happen to you.
– Risk allows you to conquer your fears
– Risk allows you to grow and discover new things about yourself and the world, to develop your strengths and talents.
Q: I find that I am a very confident person but when speaking to guys/flirting I can’t help but feel shy and silly, how can I become dating savvy? 20 year old female
A: Hey girl, I totally understand where you are coming from! I have not had a lot of experience in relationships, dating etc myself, which means sometimes I overthink and don’t know how to act when trying to flirt/date and also become very shy. My advice to you hun is to be completely natural, the more you practice the easier it will become. Confidence is also very key, before you approach the guy you fancy – boost yourself up a bit; tell yourself ‘I’m wonderful and amazing, of course this guy will want to speak with me!’ If you’re tongue gets tied when speaking to an attractive man that’s completely normal, you are not the only one who feels this way!
Q: I have found I have become increasingly more and more interested in porn, how do I stop this?
A: Hey, thanks for getting in touch. Porn is a very sensitive subject that many don’t like speaking about, so it was very brave of you to come forward. I know from research that Porn can become very addictive, which is probably why you are finding the urge to watch it more and more. Many studies have found porn has an escalating effect similar to a drug. Many porn users tend to reach a point where certain images or acts are no longer stimulating and they need to seek a new extreme to get the same rush. Which leads down a hard path. It is very addictive to the point studies have shown that porn consumption is linked to sexual aggression. Porn is also very unrealistic and abusive and makes you think that type of behavior is acceptable.
I don’t mean to scare you my dear, I just want to give you all the information you need to make an informed decision. Stop whilst you can, and don’t be ashamed to seek help if you need it! Seeking help and accepting when you need it, is one of the bravest things you can do!
Please do not hesitate to keep sending your questions in. They will remain anonymous and be responded to via email within 48 hours of being received & also featured in the monthly newsletters.
Thank you guys for reading and all your support with SkyeAlexandra House, tell a friend to tell a friend about all the positive work we do! Have a great month of love.
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